Sunday, August 7, 2011
Dead Horse Theory
If you don't understand this theory, you haven't lived long enough......
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to
generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead
horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more
advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride
dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead
horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve
the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is
less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes
substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some
other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And of course....
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to
generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead
horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more
advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride
dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead
horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve
the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is
less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes
substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some
other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And of course....
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
Yea! Let's build this bridge!
And they keep going forward with CRC with one tiny problem: how are they gonna pay for it?
An Airplane that Flies like a Bird
http://www.flixxy.com/airplane-flies-like-a-bird.htm
So essentially a giant metal bird, literally.
So essentially a giant metal bird, literally.
The green thing
In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana .
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle everytime we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.
We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person.
The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."
She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana .
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle everytime we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.
We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person.
CRC Victim of Fiscal Austerity?
An Associated Press story goes into an issue the Oregonian as studiously ignored - no one wants to pay for the Columbia River crossing.
PORTLAND TRANSPORT
PORTLAND TRANSPORT
Where oh where is our Ministry of Propaganda?
They still haven't released the July ridership stats. They're defiantly taking their time screwing with the statistics.
TriMet: Ridership and Performance Statistics
TriMet: Ridership and Performance Statistics
Here ya go, TriMet
If you really want to pledge safety here, there, and everywhere, then get one of these.
Why Afganistan?
So why are we in Afghanistan? Even assuming a valid initial rationale - the question merely becomes why are we still there? Our government ought to explain in terms that answers these questions: How many more years, how many more billions, and most important how many more lives?
A Perspective
A Perspective
Very, very, very, very grim news for I-5 bridge
The new debt deal means that federal pork for transportation projects is going to be more scarce than it has been lately. Rep. Peter DeFazio from Blugene thinks it could spell curtains for the proposed replacement of the interstate bridge on I-5 between Portlandia and the 'Couv. If only it were the death knell for the insane Mystery Train to Milwaukie -- but nothing kills that zombie. A quarter-billion of lottery money is about to be poured down a Tri-Met rat hole.
BoJack
BoJack
More TriMet Twitters
ckillah77: 175$ back in debt thanks to trimet*& ·
T @shannonmmoore: You know you're a pro at riding the Max when one of the doors always hits the spot where you're standing.
bradfuc: You could have terminals WORKING / more than ONE @ a TC, no offense.
@KyleKrocodile: This man smells of tomatoes.
Agree I use Spanish & German RT @Rimbaud1854: Just had a nice convo in #french with someone from Paris. #trimet has such nice diversity
@ChristopOConnor: Thanks to trimet I can start my day of interacting with screaming/mentally ill/whining-about-their-lawyer people early!
@PdxBusDriver: Trimet says it won't pay bus drivers if they have to use the bathroom at end of line before going back to garage after driving for 2 hrs
TriMet bus rear ended by Jetta, sending one to hospital t.co/g6oGWI0 ·
ThomasThat1: OMG... TRIMET#getsonmynerves
KXLJimferretti: Signature gathers and guys asking for change tonight on my train home. Would love to see a fair inspector like @trimet promised!
TrimetObserver: Do you have a lump in your throat after reading about Trimettemporarly closing Sunset TC and bus 35 driver getting lost on Wednesday? I do.
teenrightsguy: @trimet needs to invite me to speak to a gathering of its fare inspectors about juvenile justice & abuse of power #trimet
ea12l: In a 30-min span, there's been 6 trains going to Hillsboro yet 0 going to Portland. @trimet #fail
51 cougarswithkatz: fuck you, trimet.
billwalle: Worst MAX ride ever! 15 min late after Sunset Transit (bomb) overly crowded MAX NO AC over 90! TGI WES 1st class!!
TrimetDiaries: RT @ChristopOConnor: Thanks to trimet I can start my day of interacting with screaming/mentally ill/whining-about-their-lawyer people early!
CHicks206: Ew shirtless guy on train. isn't there a rule against that
RT @bradfuc: @trimet What is the protocol for broken machines? Surely you don't expect people to get on then off again to get a ticket, right?
TriMess Tweets
345 CEOemail: @carolynmain Here's the e-mail address of the 1 d 
666 lunarobverse: I'm betting @trimet does NOTHING in response to this horror story, and says only the most bland pr-speak. bit.ly/qfdsdW · Reply ·RT
666 lunarobverse: I'm betting @trimet does NOTHING in response to this horror story, and says only the most bland pr-speak. bit.ly/qfdsdW · Reply ·RT
34 HatHats: Weekend off to a good start! Super cute #trimet driver on 2706 (love the knee socks!) who announced stops & connections! Thank you, driver! · Reply · RT
60 bikeyguy: Just got told can't bring bike on train, Trimet is really starting to suck.... maybe they need to manage the crazy peds · Reply · RT
117 HaydennHarper: Today officially marks the day that my ad/picture will be featured on the Trimet busses. If anyone sees it, please take a picture! ^HH ·Reply · RT
564 pdxcreep: Way to go @trimet !! RT @WashCoScanner: Person reporting a Trimet bus driver is out kicking a car.. · Reply · RT
34 sellyasayswaht: All I can say is fuck trimet. I'm gonna be an hour late because you don't know how to leave on time! :/ · Reply · RTdiedotcom: ian: this is a red line train to HELL. #trimet
RT @Rimbaud1854: @trimet I'm only upset when I can't get on the bus/train. Which is so rare I feel bad mentioning it. Thanks for all your hard work. · Reply ·RT
caleeye: fuck trimet scheduling. transferring in good time is impossible #portland #trimet
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)